Walking the spiritual path can be full of joy and it can also feel like a lot of suffering.
None of us likes to hurt. The way I would put this is that your soul has something so much greater for you to step into. You are aware of it. But it is clashing with your current choices or your current experience in the world.
Some of us have been living on auto-pilot for a very long time. We have settled into tolerating the relationships we have with our most intimate partners or family members. But you can create change now!
We are tolerating our jobs for “security” and stability. We live in the desert when we want to be in the mountains. We come home too tired to explore our dreams because we have made everyone else in our lives more important or our day of sacrifices has completely drained us.
Without running the risk of being offensive, we have chosen a victim lifestyle. We behave as if we are wearing handcuffs, that the people “out there” are preventing us, stopping us, thwarting us. Is that true?
When we have a meltdown, or an angry explosion, or an episode of depression, we tend to get very hard on ourselves and suppress those feelings since they may be deemed “inappropriate”. What if today, you could honor those feelings, get to the bottom of it, and find out where in your life you are not listening to yourself, where you are dishonoring yourself, playing small, trying to be the good wife/mother/father/husband/employee and becoming more resentful and frustrated by the day? What if, instead of asking permission for time to yourself, you were an adult and just took it? What if you were honest about the state of your life and didn’t try to rationalize all the reasons that your relationships, work life and daily routine are okay or even good?
Here’s the fear: you might have to face the fact that you need to change what you have. Many of us will put up with some terribly bad situations for a very long time rather than step through the process to change it. Then we excuse ourselves later in life, saying we’ve always been this way, they’ll always be this way, that’s the way life is, “it is what it is” and all that muck.
We say we want abundance, whether that be love, finances, good health or all of it. But we stand stuck in our current stream, afraid of what change might result in. Our inner child is terrified of loss, abandonment, humiliation, abuse. We would rather tolerate another day than choose to listen to our own guidance and our own heart. We would rather have a life we tolerate, sprinkling our spirituality talk with words regarding contentment and tolerance, than choose to step into our courage and make new choices. Or trust that God/Source/the Universe is really real and we could invoke this amazing power to support our change. We find out we’ve transferred to God or Source all the negative experiences we have learned in Earth School from our parents, authority figures, school and work. We don’t really believe God would love us enough to help us step into a life that was greater and more wonderful than we could even imagine.
And there’s the rub. We identify a belief that if God is good to us and takes care of us, then everyone else will be harmed. If we are happy and enjoy life, it will hurt everyone else. Yes, it’s true. Go to the basis of all the reason you are not changing your life for the better, not choosing better, and it is the total terror that Source will not come through for you and you will lose EVERYTHING.
That, my friends, is your inner child. That is the baseline of your agreements in this world: “I will be less than I am if you will stay, not leave, continue speaking to me (even if it is abusive), keep me as an employee (even if you treat me badly).”
Does it take courage to change, to shift? It most certainly does. If this has stirred up some deep longings within you, I hope you’ll contact me and let me help you through your shift. Here’s a secret about unconditional love from Source. We ask for our highest good and the highest good of everyone around us. Love does not harm. We are confused because in the past, love has not meant love, has it? What would real love be like? Here’s one thing for sure: it will be good to everyone.
You can hang up being the sacrificial lamb of the group. You do not have to suffer for others to be happy. It is actually the reverse. They are reflecting outwardly the misery, lack, sadness and fear that you are experiencing inwardly. That’s their gift to you. Now choose to change and give everyone a chance, including yourself. Step into your greatest life!