We pray, perform our spiritual exercises and meditate. Still, when an answer doesn’t happen on schedule or in the form we believe it should take, we take matters into our own hands. It makes us feel in control and provides much-needed pain relief.
I’d like to throw out another solution: Detachment. Detachment is a mysterious experience that has no logic to it. Other words for it might be “surrender” or “release”. If we’re honest, we might think they are the equivalent of not caring, failure, even passive acceptance of the unacceptable. Or just plain giving up. It’s actually the exact opposite and it’s extremely effective.
Detachment is about releasing the “solutions” that our finite mind can conceive of. It is about not doing anymore in the situation than releasing our attachment (or fear) to the outcome. We are afraid of not knowing how a situation could resolve; in this case we are doing exactly that: releasing to the universe providing unlimited possibilities of outcomes.
Let’s walk through a hypothetical situation in which you feel great anxiety and are convinced you won’t be able to tolerate the situation much longer. You pray and bring in guidance. You visualize and stay positive in your language. However, deep within, you feel fear and pain, quite contradictory to the “positive” you are trying to present.
Take this moment to look at the source of the pain. I like to invite the spiritual light beings and masters into the situation with me. Ask yourself, what is the source of the pain. It may be fear of rejection, abandonment, lack of love, poverty, or betrayal. In this moment, allow yourself to hand over this source of pain. Use your hands even, to move them symbolically out of your field. Say, “I release you to the light, I release my fear, and I release all outcomes.” You will feel a powerful shift within yourself as this is giving up a big amount of control. You have literally agreed for an outcome that is for your highest good and the highest good of all involved, and you are not manipulating energy with your fear.
hroughout most of our life experience, we have used fear as the motivator, the strength we needed to take action. Here’s a little secret. If we continue to do that, we will attract another situation identical to the one we are attempting to escape. This “releasing” and “detachment” enables us to release the fear and to attract from our point of desire, not from panic (a.k.a., fear again).
Detachment has a different feel from fear. It isn’t driven by urgent panic. It is driven by unconditional love, handing over our power, releasing the negative energies and trusting the universe for what will unfold. If anything it feels like we’re out of control and irresponsible! Again, it’s quite the opposite.
What unfolds next comes from guidance, from our Higher Self, from a place of unconditional love. We get instructions, information, and next steps. If we’re in a panic, we can’t hear it. In depression, we can’t hear it either, because depression’s companion is inertia. We go into deeper depths that sound like “What’s the use?”
The spiritual path is always about growth, about clearing out old agreements, old fears, healing deep core wounds and our inner child. Each healing shifts our energy to a higher frequency, which in turns draws in solutions that are positive, abundant and loving.
If you find yourself in a situation where you feel trapped, dependent, unable to step into freedom or joy, try this approach. Feel your desire, which should not just be based in escape, because you will only draw in another situation similar to the one you find yourself in. Your desire should come from your heart, from your higher self.
Now, like doves, release your desire with gratitude and joy. Feel your fear and pain. Notice your attachments which are based in fear. See yourself releasing it, as if your last breath depended on it. Unfortunately, many of us wait until we literally can’t stand it anymore, or as I put it, till we hit the proverbial wall, to give up. Every time, we are amazed.
The amazement can be short lived because we do feel better in the moment of release. Once we feel better, “reason” returns and we start to figure it out again and tell ourselves we can go on a little longer and we go right back into the circumstance.
This “releasing” can be tricky. When we feel better, we can go right back into the patterns that allow the “intolerable” situation to continue.
I’m talking about a type of “no man’s land” where you release, feel joy about your desires, and don’t try to lock in on any solution.
Back to turning the ship and detaching from pain so that you can experience abundance.
If abandonment and loss are coming up as you consider detachment, that is what needs to be healed.
If betrayal and failure are coming up as you consider releasing the outcome and the urgency, that is what needs to be healed.
Desperation to get out of situations and using fear as a motivator can cause us to precipitate situations that are not for our highest good. You don’t want to come from that space. If you can stay in the no man’s land of release, surrender, and joy and gratitude of your heart’s desire, you will be amazed how the situation will begin to turn.
Source doesn’t come in time to save our pride or keep us from healing. Every time we heal, we shift our vibration and we transform what shows up for us. Holding that in the midst of circumstances is not exactly easy, but if you are honest and watch what unfolds, you are going to be astounded by what begins to show up for you, to move you into your heart’s desire.
Need help? Try one of my meditation audios or reach out to me regarding a session. You can do this!